I do smirk at people sometimes

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smirk
verb
[V] to smile in a silly or unpleasant way that shows that you are pleased with yourself, know sth that other people do not know, etc

It is my nature to be nice, too nice. So much so that over the last decade I have been consciously training myself not to be nice. Given my nature I never smirk at people – it’s just too mean and unproductive. With one exception: people’s attitude towards dads parenting babies.

People would ask “Where is his mother?” sometimes maliciously but more often without any hint of sarcasm, as if it were clear that I’m not a capable parent. It happens all the time and at the beginning with my first child I was very sensitive to it. It bothered me, and I’ve developed a means of dealing with it. It was a little hard for me but may come more naturally to most people: smirk at them.

Let’s take a pretend scenario, something like this will happen to any dad out with a child:

  • [Stranger woman, to the child]: Ooh, so cute, googoo googoo!
  • [Stranger woman, to the dad]: Babysitting, eh?
  • [You, in your mind]: Fuck off, moron.
  • [You, out loud]: No, it’s my child.

At this point half the women won’t get the message. And this is where it’s important to develop and display a good smirk. And why not? You have so many reasons for it!

  1. You’re better than her husband.
  2. You’re better than her father.
  3. You’re better than every man she’s interacted with in the past.
  4. You’re probably better than her.

So think of that and make sure that your face shows it. Look down on her and make it clear that you’re superior and she doesn’t deserve any attention from you at all. You’re only giving her a curt answer because she may not get the message if you just ignore her.

Whether this kind of behaviour is natural for you or not (it wasn’t for me): you’ll get used to it, and you’ll get good at it. After a while of faking it and figuring it out this will be absorbed into your overall personality. It won’t have any negative effect on your life, it will only make you look stronger and more confident and more capable. You may scare some women off, but you weren’t going to have any rewarding interactions with them anyway.

So yeah, being mean isn’t always a bad thing! Sometimes everyone benefits!